I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
