McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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