You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
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