I wish I only lived at night.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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