all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
