You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
