i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Randomize
