The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
This is my gift to your gina
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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