Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
