Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
