is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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