using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
