Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
