I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
