Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
