Plan B is the new Plan A
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
