You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
