I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
