I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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