You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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