Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We need to get me chipped asap
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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