she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I want her autograph on my taint
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
