hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
