Don't you send me to vm
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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