No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
