So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
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I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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