you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
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We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
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Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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