We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
