I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
