I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
you made out with another girl for some wings
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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