I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
cat food counts as protein by the way
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
