Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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