Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
