he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
