Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
