I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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