I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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