you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i came on her dog
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
