she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
How external is "for external use only"?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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