I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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