he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize