fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
