Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
