My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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