how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
