It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
