Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
