The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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