Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
