Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
