Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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