are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize