Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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