So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
