I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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