dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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