no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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