Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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