It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We are all done wearing pants today
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
