I seem to have left my pride at pride
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
