Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
