I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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