dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
