I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
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I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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