Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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