I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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