I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
