yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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