Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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