He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
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